Dos and donts in early relationship arguments

The Do's and Don'ts of Arguing With The One You Love

Arguing can take a relationship to a higher level of understanding or it arguing a lot with your partner, check out these 13 do's and don'ts for In the first example, you are explaining your feelings about a certain behavior. If it's a small argument, you should be able to discuss it with your partner Don't compare your new relationship to your past relationships. These are key “Do's and Don'ts” that successful partners regularly practice. I often ask a couple in the first hour of therapy where each currently is at his or Expressing any of those, especially during an argument, can leave.

Are you arguing with your partner in ways that weaken or strengthen your relationship? Consider these two statements: It is a gentler approach that is easier for your partner to agree with and get behind. Become a supporter and enjoy The Good Men Project ad free 2. Tenor This one sounds like a no brainer, but in the heat of the moment it can become hard to manage your anger.

This complicates the argument and makes it more difficult to resolve. DO stay on topic.

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Stick to the topic and time frame at hand. Resolve to never, ever call your partner a name or allow him or her to do this to you. If this is a problem for you two, discuss ground rules for fighting with your partner when you two are not arguing. Do not attempt to gain leverage in the relationship by arguing with little throwaway comments your partner makes.


Cultivate an easy-going attitude about the small stuff. Be considerate and be honest.

13 Dos & Donts for Fighting Like a Grownup - The Good Men Project

Truthfully discuss what are non-negotiable points and areas worth rethinking. Set some mutual goals. No one is perfect, but you can perfect the way you work through your differences.

Somewhere along the way, the disagreements between you eroded the empathy and compassion that tempers irritation and contemptuous thinking. What do you hear that you can actually agree on before you actively debate? Together, you can work through more compassionate and productive conflict. Do engage conflict with the relationship connection protected.

13 Dos & Donts for Fighting Like a Grownup

How do you accomplish that? Johnson suggests the following: This takes the pressure off each other and sharing differences is safer. This makes conflict feels less like a personal attack and more understandable.

Work through particularly negative dialogue. Take responsibility for your own behavior and feelings.

6 Do’s & Don’ts for Couples Managing Love and Conflict

Also, take responsibility for your effect on your partner. From there, you can promote positive interaction patterns as you negotiate solutions. Deal with anything that remains unresolved between you.