Type 1: The Perfectionist - Leslie Hershberger
4's loyalty. Perfectionist &loyalist. Hermione: Perfectionist (1). It's LeviOsa, not How do you see the Enneagram types affecting your personal relationships?. 4. THE INDIVIDUALIST Enneagram Type Four. The Sensitive, Introspective Type: are unlike other human beings, and consequently, that no one can understand them or love them adequately. I have had a trail of relationship disasters. 1 | Page. Enneagram Love Relationships. Contents. Type 1. . 4 | Page for what they want. Anger can bond this couple. Sometimes, they just need to express.
Fours bring creativity, intense feelings, sensuality, spontaneity, inspiration, and the ability to tap into dreams, the unconscious, and other universal forces. Their expressiveness and emotionality can be a welcome counterbalance to the One's typical formality and sense of order and reason. Fours give Ones permission to explore and express the full range of the One's feelings and passions.
Ones help Fours actualize their dreams by supporting creativity with healthy self-discipline and appropriate structure. In general, Ones bring self-restraint to the relationship, which may act as a model for Fours, who tend to be more unregulated.
Both types have a taste for refinement, beauty, and a cultivation of the arts, and if both appreciate what the other offers, they can make a long lasting, productive team that helps balance the limitations of the other while bringing out qualities that each lacks—one of the primary functions of all good relationships. Ones think that they are almost always being sensible and objective, while Fours do not try to be "objective"—they want to see things from the subjective, personal side.
While both bring a kind of idealism to the relationship, it is usually idealism applied to different things.
More than any other type, Fours are acutely aware of and focused on their personal differences and deficiencies. Healthy Fours are honest with themselves: They may not necessarily like what they discover, but they do not try to rationalize their states, nor do they try to hide them from themselves or others. This ability also enables Fours to endure suffering with a quiet strength. Their familiarity with their own darker nature makes it easier for them to process painful experiences that might overwhelm other types.
Is it will power? Given time and sufficient perspective, Fours generally recognize that they are unsure about aspects of their self-image—their personality or ego-structure itself.
They feel that they lack a clear and stable identity, particularly a social persona that they feel comfortable with. While it is true that Fours often feel different from others, they do not really want to be alone. They may feel socially awkward or self-conscious, but they deeply wish to connect with people who understand them and their feelings. If, over time, such validation remains out of reach, Fours begin to build their identity around how unlike everyone else they are.
The outsider therefore comforts herself by becoming an insistent individualist: Fours typically have problems with a negative self-image and chronically low self-esteem. They attempt to compensate for this by cultivating a Fantasy Self—an idealized self-image which is built up primarily in their imaginations.
Unfortunately, his commitment to practicing fell far short of his fantasized self-image, and he was often embarrassed when people asked him to play for them.
Type Four — The Enneagram Institute
His actual abilities, while not poor, became sources of shame. In the course of their lives, Fours may try several different identities on for size, basing them on styles, preferences, or qualities they find attractive in others.
But underneath the surface, they still feel uncertain about who they really are. The problem is that they base their identity largely on their feelings.
When Fours look inward they see a kaleidoscopic, ever-shifting pattern of emotional reactions. Indeed, Fours accurately perceive a truth about human nature—that it is dynamic and ever changing. But because they want to create a stable, reliable identity from their emotions, they attempt to cultivate only certain feelings while rejecting others.
Their confusion would clear if they were to look at themselves historically and see both themselves and the Four as a whole. In the average Levels, Ones usually attend to their responsibilities first, and deal with their feelings later. Their lack of focus on their feelings is actually one of the main causes of their not infrequent depressions.Enneagram Shorts Type 8: What to Expect in Relationship
It is also worth mentioning that Ones are one of the types more vulnerable to depression. Fours, on the other hand, want to sort out their feelings first, and deal with their duties after they have worked through their emotions.
As a result, they may have difficulty mobilizing themselves to meet responsibilities. Most Ones would not give themselves permission to "indulge" their feelings in this way for very long.
For lower average Fours, non-productively dwelling on their feelings can be the rule rather than the exception. Despite these differences, there are similarities.