What to Do When You Hate the One You Love
ing love of God and neighbor have fallen far short of their potential. A major reason, I argue, is psycholo- gists' love–hate relationship with love. Psychologists . Two major arguments can be raised against this description. People describe their relationship as a love hate relationship when the circumstances are such. In these cases, we love someone, but we also hate them for having relationships with other people or being attractive to others. Jealousy is one.
The top line indicated a target person, and the bottom line indicated a negative event. A ms inter-stimulus interval was interleaved between each trait and negative event.
Feeling Love and Hate at the Same Time - Exploring your mind
First, participants were asked to read a story and imagine that they were the protagonist see Supplementary Material. Each vignette involved the protagonist and three targets. Participants were asked to recall the information relating to each target through free recall. Participants were then asked to imagine that they were in a romantic relationship with the target. Ratings and Measurements We used E-Prime 2.
After the participants studied the materials, they completed the rating task on the computer and then completed the PLS in both Part 1 and Part 2. Participants gave one love score per item per target person in Part 1 and one hate score per negative event per target person in Part 2, as well as two PLS scores before and after the negative events.
Psychology’s Love-Hate Relationship with Love: Critiques and Affirmations | Metanexus
In Part 2 of the experiment, the background characteristics of A, B, and C were unchanged; however, we created vignettes in which the targets betrayed the protagonist, for example by having an affair with someone of the opposite sex see the negative events in Supplementary Table S1.
Upon completion of Part 2, participants completed the PLS again to assess their feelings of love toward the three targets. Analysis We used several analyses to test our hypotheses. The scores from love ratings, hate ratings, and the PLS items were averaged within subjects prior to the analyses. Simple effect tests were performed when the interaction effect was significant. Additionally, we used a 3 target: Next, we used a 3 target: Tests of simple main effects were performed when an interaction effect was statistically significant.
Further analyses of the simple main effects showed that the degree of love toward target A 5. Further analyses of the simple main effects showed that the degree of passionate love toward target A Further analyses of the simple main effects showed that the degree of hate toward target A 5. Further analyses of the simple main effects showed that the PLS score for target A Love and Hate The 3 targets: The love and hate level of all participants in response to the 3 targets: The corresponding partial correlation analyses revealed similar results A: Discussion This study used an experimental paradigm to study the relationship between romantic love and hate.
The current study provided support for a link between the two affects and insights into the influence of similarity in romantic relationships.
We found that people have different emotional reactions toward different target persons in the context of romantic love and hate. The relationship between romantic love and hate was revealed to be more complex than expected. First, our results showed that feelings of love were influenced by similarity. That is, individuals, who were experimentally induced to experience feelings of love, felt stronger love toward someone of the opposite sex who was similar to them, thus, supporting our first hypothesis.
Previous studies have examined whether similarity or complementarity played a more vital role in mutual attraction Berscheid and Reis, and concluded that the former was more important. This view has also been supported by research looking at mate preferences Luo and Klohnen, and quality of marital relationships Hudson et al. Previous studies had mostly recruited couples or partners who were already in a relationship, and there is little direct evidence on whether the similarity of the two individuals had a crucial role in the development of a romantic relationship.
A recent study Conroy-Beam et al. To some extent, they considered the equivalence in social status between both partners to be an important factor relating to relationship satisfaction. In our study, however, when the participants were presented with two potential partners equal to them in excellence, participants perceived greater love for the one who was more similar to themselves.
Relatedly, similarity also played an important role in mate selection. Our findings complemented the findings of other research in this area. Individuals who were similar to each other easily formed good impressions of each other within a short time. Second, we found significant associations between romantic love and hate in the context of a romantic relationship.
When presented with negative events with three different target persons, participants most hated the person whom they had loved the most previously.
Therefore, love and hate are indeed related. As Alford proposed, hate is an imitation of love and also a type of relationship with others and oneself. That is, in managing their relationships with others, people are at the same time managing themselves and their psyches Alford, Especially from the perspectives of young couples in romantic relationships, hate is also a reflection of love.zeb - love/hate relationship
The relationship between love and hate can be explained from different perspectives. Romantic hate may be rooted in romantic jealousy. Previous research proposed emotional jealousy and cognitive jealousy as constituents of romantic jealousy. Then, the participants reported on their positive and negative feelings toward that person.
Unsurprisingly, people reported highly positive feelings and very low negative feelings toward the person they had chosen. But then the researchers assessed implicit feelings—the emotions they might not be consciously aware of—about the significant other.
Participants did a standard computer task that measures how quickly they respond to certain directions. Their job was to categorize the target words as positive or negative as quickly as possible by pushing the correct button. If we are thinking about something pleasant when a positive word pops up, we are quicker to categorize it as positive; but when a negative word pops up, we are slower to put it in the negative category.
Likewise, if we are thinking about something unpleasant, we will be slower to categorize positive words and quicker for negative ones. Great, because here is where it gets interesting. Take a look at the graph below. The bars on the left side of the graph show the typical response using positive and negative objects, such as sunsets and spiders, where positive objects only affect positive target words and negative objects only affect negative target words.
Thus, people feel both positively and negatively toward those they love. This may not surprise you. Collectively, these definitions suggest that love is a multi-faced phenomenon Ekman, ; Izard, ; Tomkins, Hate, within the context of a romantic relationship, arises mainly from a relational betrayal.
Researchers have proposed a concept related to romantic hate, romantic jealousy, which describes the negative attitudes, anger, and fear associated with having a relationship partner Yoshimura, Love and hate are related to each other in a complex manner; the methodological approaches used by previous researchers have limited effectiveness in exploring the intricate relationship between love and hate. In addition, there has been little research on the psychological mechanisms that could explain the interrelations between love and hate.
Therefore, our study investigates how these two affects are related. To pursue such a research objective, one must consider how best to induce varying levels of feelings of love.
Previous studies have found that attraction is a crucial condition for the development of romantic love Cutler et al. Similarity, rather than complementarity, plays a key role in attraction Berscheid and Reis, ; Luo and Klohnen, ; Hudson et al.
Many aspects of similarity have been studied in relation to attraction. In the current study, we focused on similarity in ideologies. That is, persons with similar ideologies defined here in terms of values and interests tend to form longer lasting and more harmonious relationships Buunk and Bosman, ; Lemay and Clark, Ideological similarity also implies commonalities in behaviors which further contribute to mutual attraction in the context of romantic love Schafer and Keith, From this perspective, similarity may be a key factor that influences the degree of love.
In addition, researchers found that differences in excellence levels, such as those relating to ability and achievement, between partners would also be an important factor influencing romantic relationships Conroy-Beam et al.
In the present study, we manipulated the level of similarity and the level of excellence to induce different levels of love. That is, we concurrently varied the levels of similarity and excellence of different targets.
We explored whether participants felt stronger love for a target who was more similar to themselves when the targets and participants were of the same level of excellence.