11 Questions You Should Be Able To Answer Before You Get Married | HuffPost Life
Below, marriage therapists share 11 questions you should ask your partner I suggest having this talk very early into the dating relationship. In the meantime, do you have questions about your own relationship? There is no right answer about how much to share with friends and family, but the more. I have been married for 11 years. My husband has 3 children from a previous marriage, and I have 1 son. Together we have a 10 year old. Our relationship was.
What Issues Are Most Important? Find out what your spouse considers are the most important issues and work on those first. You should also air your views on what you think the most important issues are so that the two of you can work on them together.
Do You Want a Divorce? If you are worried that your relationship has reached the point of no return, one of the most obvious marriage counseling questions is whether you should stay together.
20 Helpful Marriage Counseling Questions to Ask Your Spouse
All relationships go through phases. You will fall in and out of romantic love with one another depending on what your relationship is going through at the time. When asking marriage counseling questions, examine your issues and decide if the marriage has really gone bad or if you are just going through a bad phase.
You may feel like the relationship is salvageable, but your spouse may feel it is too late to save it. In a marriage, some things about your partner will always get on your nerves.
These things usually not cause for divorce, but big things like a lack of trust and honor can destroy intimacy. By asking marriage counseling questions you can find out what things your spouse would like to change about you and you can work on those issues.
Asking your spouse if you are loved is one of the most basic marriage counseling questions. Trouble begins when you stop caring at all. Do You Trust Me? Trust is one of the most important factors in any relationship. If your significant other has a hard time trusting you, you will find it difficult to connect on any level. One of the key elements in gaining trust is forgiveness.
Recognize if your partner has learned to think negatively about you because of things you have done. Learn to talk about needs and feelings and share your reasons for what you did. Ask for forgiveness and explain why you will never repeat your mistake. Give your spouse a chance to tell you what you need to do to regain trust. Nearly all couples experience a change in chemistry, but the most important question is how you feel about it.
Sex Questions: You Asked, We've Answered
If the chemistry is dead, your partner may be prone to looking elsewhere. Try to find ways to rekindle the spark such as sharing fantasies or going on a marriage counseling retreat.
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Are You Seeing Someone New? If your spouse has started considering divorce, find out if there is someone else in the picture. If there is infidelity, find out from your spouse what is lacking in your relationship that led to feelings of someone else developing.
Psychology Today notes that six in ten cheaters never get caught, so if your spouse is cheating, you may well not know. According to the results of an MSNBC survey, nearly one in five adults has cheated on a current partner.
If your spouse has considered cheating, find out why. What Are Your Expectations of Counseling? Ask your partner what he or she expects from marriage counseling. Now that the kids have left home, it's just me and my wife in the house. How can I persuade her to go naked during the day more often? It can be difficult to overcome lifelong inhibitions without a little help, but sometimes all it takes is getting a little bit tipsy to say "What the hell!
Set up the party gently, though — no one responds well to being pushed. Have a picnic in your living room, perhaps, enhanced by champagne and good music. Or watch an erotic movie the night before, then make a batch of mimosas when you get up the next morning and have breakfast in bed; after making love, suggest a shower and a bit of good old-fashioned lolling about naked, of course.
Let your wife get comfortable with postcoital nudity, and she may become more comfortable with nudity in general. Just remember to keep things fun and playfully sexy.
Marital Questions and Answers
One night when you cook dinner, for example, spice up the situation by sipping wine coolers and dressing in robes or pajamas — so much easier to shuck quickly than those pesky old street clothes. And by all means, don't forget to verbally admire how good she looks in the altogether!
Most of us are self-conscious about how we look disrobedespecially after the passage of a few years, so heaping on the compliments may encourage repeat performances! I laugh at people who think that older people cannot perform.
QUESTIONS TO ASK BEFORE YOU MARRY
My current boyfriend is 66 and can last longer than any man I have known. The longest time has been 40 minutes nonstop. A few times I've even had to ask for a break! Sex is necessary and makes you feel better all the time. I stick to one partner and hope to get married again one day. I am 64 now. I am sure some men think I'm lying about a minute lovemaking session, but why would I? I am never too tired. Quite the opposite, I get energized when I am going to make love. You are a fortunate woman!
In fact, I half-expected your letter to include that famous advice-column punch line: Please excuse the shaky handwriting.