A “Chances of getting back with ex” calculator would be so nice, wouldn't it? How To Get Your Ex Back And Keep The Love Burning. The only goal of a text to an ex should be to get her on a phone call, so you meet up to get her to agree to give the relationship another chance, I provide all. The Five Steps to Get Back an Ex . He tried asking if she would meet him for coffee. . Closing perspectives on the question "How can I get my ex back? both of you if you want to increase the odds that you will end up re-united as a couple.
We are going to go through each of the objectives of this stage and then we are going to list out some of the common pitfalls that most guys face during this stage. I am going to try to list out some of the most common reasons here that you may be able to relate to. Here are a few examples of when a girl loses attraction for you. You always showered her with affection. You gave her whatever she wanted.
In fact, all the three reasons mentioned above are a direct result of insecurity. If you love her, you should show her. For me, there is nothing more joyful than making my girlfriend happy and laugh with joy. But most guys who end up being dumped are not genuine in showing affection.
And slowly, she is going to realize that you are not doing it because you mean it. But because you sub consciously want something in return. You Gave her Whatever She Wanted Again, giving your ex-girlfriend what she wants is not really a deal breaker. For example, suppose you are having an argument about you always trying to control her.
How To Get Your Ex Back PERMANENTLY - 5 Step Plan (With 7 Case Studies)
And instead of trying to understand her, you go out and buy her a necklace that she wanted for a while. She is excited and forgets about the argument. You avoided a serious issue in the relationship.
- How To Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back By LEVELING UP – Game Plan in 5 Stages (And 17 Missions)
- How To Get Your Ex Back Permanently – 5 Step Plan
You avoided a serious issue in yourself. And that festered inside her. If you want to give something your ex-girlfriend, do it out of your heart and do it because you want to do it without getting anything in return. Guys who are insecure, controlling and secretly manipulative are always trying to control the situation by giving their girlfriend something and hoping to get something in return.
This creates an unhealthy pattern in the relationship and their girlfriends end up losing attraction for them.
Insecurity, jealousy, control and manipulation are present in almost every unhealthy relationship. As you are going through this stage, I want you to think back and figure out when you did something for your ex girlfriend that had an ulterior motive behind it. Did you buy her gifts because you were afraid she was going to leave you?
Did you avoid a serious issue by showering her with affection? Did you act controlling because you were afraid she will fall for some other guy? Did you call her names when arguing because you wanted her to feel ashamed about something? If you are just reading this article a few days after your breakup, it might be a bit too much for you to think all this through right now.
So, you might want to bookmark this article and come back to it at a later stage when you have calmed down and can think rationally. You can make your ex girlfriend attracted to you again easily once you learn how to fix the deep rooted insecurity that pushed her away. We will talk about this in the next section when we talk about becoming more confident.
She Does not See a Future with You and She Lost Connection A lot of times, your ex-girlfriend may have broken up with you because she does not feel a connection with you anymore. This is usually the case when you were together for a very long time more than a year. If she does not feel a connection with you, she will leave you because she does not see a future with you. She might still be attracted to you. She might still feel that you are a confident attractive guy.
She just thinks that you are both not compatible. An emotional connection can be lost for the following reasons. You and your ex-girlfriend lost the spark. You neglected her for too long and took her for granted. You had too much fights and disagreements. Your life goals do not align with each other. All the above reasons are self-explanatory, so I am not going to go in detail.
For example, If you neglected her, you will want to tell her that you will spend more time with her if she gives you another chance. If you and her both wanted different things in life, you will want to tell her that you will compromise and give her whatever she wanted marriage, kids etc.
The fact is, your ex girlfriend does not feel a connection with you anymore. And if she does not feel a connection with you, then it will not matter to her what you are willing to do for her. Before you can show her how things have changed, you first need to rebuild attraction and connection with her. We will get into that in stage 4 of this article.
These may include You cheated on her You were abusive to her verbally or physically You betrayed her trust in some way monetary or emotional cheating How to get her back if you cheated on her, or did something to hurt her?
The key to winning your ex-girlfriend back in this situation is to show her a ray of hope before anything else. And the best way to show her a ray of hope is to accept where you screwed up, figure out why you did it and work on understanding yourself. So, work on understanding yourself and learn to trust yourself. Getting therapy or joining a support group sex addicts, alcohol anonymous, anger management etc.
This will show her you are serious about change and it will give her a ray of hope that things may be different in the future. Get your ex back after you cheated. Long Distance Relationship Long distance relationships are a tough one. If you and your ex girlfriend broke up because of long distance, then you are in for an uphill battle.
Long Distance often causes a couple to lose attraction, lose connection or betray of trust. I love her, and she is one in a million.
This is why I have included this task in stage 2 of this mission. Once you have accepted the breakup and have gone through grief after a breakup, you will need to figure out whether she is worth it. Here is one article that will help you do that. And read below for some actionable tips about this.
Write down 3 things about your ex that need to change for you to have a healthy and happy relationship with her. For example, She needs to be better at communicating or She needs to stop flirting with other guys Note: Become A Better Version of Yourself What happened in your past relationship with your ex-girlfriend is past.
Because YOU are going to be a better version of yourself. In fact, the insecurity that pushed your ex away and caused her to break up with you is the result of years of negative feedback you received from the world and yourself.
And if you fake it, your ex girlfriend will eventually see through it and start thinking of you as manipulative. Thankfully, you have enough time to work on your confidence during the no contact period. So check back on this space later to figure out how to rebuild confidence during no contact. Or if you both argued constantly and could never come to a reasonable conclusion. One of the most important relationship skills you can learn is proper communication.
If you can be a pro at handling conflict with your girlfriend, each fight you have will bring you closer together. If you learn to empathize and understand her on a deep level, the connection she will feel with you will be unparalleled.
So, work on these two skills as they are very important in not only getting her back, but keeping her forever.
Your ex girlfriend was physically attractive to you at one point of time. So, she will be attracted to you again. Working on your physical appearance does have a few advantages though. You will feel more confident. Getting a fresh look will give the impression that you are a new person.
Working out will release endorphins that will make you feel happier. But it sure helps. If you spend time with your friends and other girls, you will feel better about yourself and realize other girls are interested in you as well.
Speak to them and let them know that you find them attractive with confidence.
Go out with your friends at least on two weekends. Go out for a road trip or a vacation with your friends. But it can have a huge effect on your happiness, your confidence, your well-being and your relationships. Needless to say, it helps you become a better version of yourself and will increase your chances of getting your ex girlfriend back. Actionable Tips Important Meditate for at least 10 minutes for 21 days continuously.
If you are working on something you care about, your mind will focus on only that and you will forget about everything else. Moreover, working on things that you care about will give you something to speak with your ex when you end no contact. Guys who are passionate about things other than their girlfriends are instantly seen as more confident and less insecure.
Actionable Tips Important Figure out one hobby, career goal or life goal that you are interested in or passionate about. It should be something that you can get better at and eventually become an expert at. Something that you can become the best in your town at if you work hard enough or long enough. Spend at least 10 hours a week working on it.
The reason is simple, the no contact period is more about you and less about your ex girlfriend. Getting her to miss you will help you in the short term but is not very effective over the long term. If you sacrifice your priorities because you are trying to get her to miss you, you will suffer in the long run. Getting her to miss you is a nice side effect you can achieve by putting in a little more effort. More than that will make her think that you are just doing it to manipulate her.
Post a maximum of 5 positive thinking and self-improvement posts on social media. Add 7 new girls as your friend on Facebook. Obsessing over her in an effort to get your ex girlfriend to miss you A lot of times, guys start obsessing over whether or not their ex girlfriend misses them. Does she miss me? She posted a snapchat story about a toy that I gave her, is she thinking about me?
Does she still love me? I posted a status and she liked it, does it mean she is over me? If you try to play this game of social media jealousy with her, you will lose. If you find yourself obsessing over this, do not do anything to make your ex miss you.
Instead, just stay away from social media altogether during no contact. The truth is, everyone can and should strive to improve themselves and become a better version of yourself. Get Her to speak to you again normally. Get her to smile or laugh at something you said at least once. This stage is called the dragon of resistance because there is a big dragon which is guarding her from opening up to you and giving you a chance to rebuild attraction. This is no doubt the toughest battle in this mission.
Most guys end up failing at this stage. The resistance she has is based on the following assumptions. My ex will try to manipulate me and do anything just to get me back. He will try to act casual even if he is miserable inside. He will try to get me to meet with him so he can beg or plead. He has not really changed and neither have I, and if I get back with him, things will go back to the way they were.
These are all very valid reasons to not speak to you. In fact, if any of that is true, I would not advise your ex gf to reply to you if you contacted her. But hopefully, we have taken care of this in Stage 1 and Stage 2 of getting her back. By now, you are a better version of yourself.
You are more confident and you are sure that things will be different when you both get back together. In this stage, your goal is just to address the first three assumptions that your ex-girlfriend has.
You can show her how things will be different later when you are speaking to each other regularly. If you mess up here, your ex girlfriend will put up her defenses instantly and you will have to do no contact again for a month or two before trying again. Get Her to Speak to you Normally There can be two scenarios in this case. Either you and your ex left on good terms.
Or you acted in a way that left a sour taste in her mouth about you. I speak about this in my article on texting your ex-girlfriend again here. I call this the elephant in the room approach. You acknowledge the elephant in the room by stating everything that happened and apologize for it. Basically, you address four main points when you contact her first.
Signs And Chances Your Ex Wants You Back
You apologize about anything that you did that came off as needy, desperate or manipulative. You acknowledge the fact that you have accepted the breakup. You give a small glimpse of whatever new is happening in your life. There are three mediums you can use to do this.
At least for five days. What if she replies? If she does, you are free to talk to her. She still might have her defenses up and if you act desperate or needy in any way, it will confirm her doubts. Just end the conversation on a light note and make her feel good about it. Draft an elephant in the room message for your ex using the above guidelines. Get me to take a look at your draft and give suggestions.
Get Her to Smile or Laugh at something you said. If your ex girlfriend laughs or smiles at something you said, you can be sure that she has eased up around you and will give you a chance to rebuild attraction and connection. Use a Past Memory Think of something that you both enjoyed. And use it to your advantage. This could be a TV show, a youtube channel, a videogame or a coffee shop.
Think something funny about it or think of something a pleasant memory. And then just text her about it. Well, I just remembered how I once almost reached the hall of fame for finishing the super large burger when we were drunk and threw up all of it only minutes later. You made fun of me for hours. The person reading this article. But I am sure you can do something better than that.
More importantly, you probably know what tickles her funny bone. So, think of a joke that you think she will find funny and send it to her. The Climb of Connection aka connecting with your ex girlfriend Objectives: Increase frequency and intensity of conversations Understand and Attract your Ex Girlfriend on a Deeper Level Use the Solution from Stage 2 Get Her to Meet You A deep connection is the difference between lovers who stay together forever and lovers who are together for only a short time.
Your instincts tell you that if you stay in contact with your ex, they will not forget about you and hopefully come back. In fact, every time you call or text your ex, you are showing them you are a needy person and you are miserable without them. This neediness is unattractive and pushes your ex further away.
Your instinct fool you into thinking that your interaction with your ex will go something like this. But in reality, it goes something like this. You should be extremely careful whenever you go out drinking. You might end up calling your ex and making a fool of yourself. So whenever you go out drinking, have a friend with you who can stop you from making this mistake.
You should contact them in a certain way that will make them feel attracted to you again. I explain exactly how to do this below in Step 4. They decided to leave you and they are prepared to go through your begging and pleading. The only thing that begging will do is make you look like a weak and insecure person.
How To Win Her Back in 5 Stages - Game Plan [with 17 Mini-Objectives]
Your thought pattern becomes something like If he knows how miserable I am without him, he will come back. Again, your instincts are screwing with you. Trust me, no one takes their ex back out of pity. No one is attracted to someone who is miserable. And even if your ex came back because of this, do you really want your ex to be with you out of pity? Or do you want them to respect and love you? Let Them Walk All Over You Your instincts will tell you that if you just agree to everything your ex wants, they will come back.
Your instincts will tell you that the only thing that matters is to get your ex back. And for that, you can sacrifice everything. You let your ex walk all over you. You become a doormat. You agree to the most ridiculous demands your ex has. Because having your ex in your life is the only thing that matters. Agreeing to everything your ex says is not going to bring them back. And even if they do come back, they will leave shortly realizing they have no respect for you as a person.
Showering Them with Affection Your instincts tell you that if your ex just realizes how much you love them and how much you care about them, they will come back.
You just need to make them believe that no one in the world will ever love them the way you do. How can they reject you once they realize how much you love them, Right? The truth is, they already know that you love them, how much you adore them and how much you care about them. But they still decided to breakup.
Showering them with affection is not going to help you. And that will just make them want to get away from you as soon as possible. I better go over there and do everything that this article has told me not to do. I will try everything, including begging, using pity, telling them how much I love them, agreeing to all their conditions be a doormat.
In most cases, you freak out and make all the mistakes mentioned above. The truth is, your ex is most probably in a rebound relationship Read: And almost all of the rebound relationships end sooner rather than later.
It sucks, but rebound relationships are a way for many people to deal with breakups. In fact, it just means the opposite. It means that they are having a hard time moving on and as long as they are in this rebound relationship, they are avoiding grief.
And that means it will take them longer to get over you. A rebound relationship is like a cigarette. It provides a false sense of calmness. And it ends when the flame is over.
Whatever happens, do not tell your ex to break up with their rebound partners. Let it be their idea. They have a huge hole in their life after breaking up with you which they are trying to fill with someone new. They will soon realize that a rebound relationship can not fill the emptiness and they will end the relationship. Do you think his relationship is not just a rebound? Name Calling and Anger Name-calling your ex out of anger or frustration is a common reaction for people who were used to name-calling their ex while fighting.
Your instinct wants to believe that this is just another fight or argument. And if you just show your ex that you are angry, they will calm down and tell you they want to get back together. The same way it happened when you both fought. This rarely ever works. If your ex is serious about the breakup, then getting angry will only make them think that breaking up with you was the right decision.
Getting angry will remind them of all the bad fights and arguments that slowly and surely ate away the foundation of your relationship. So bad that the neighbors had to knock on their doors at least once a month. Threatening to leave each other was a very common occurrence in their fights. But one day, Amanda decided to leave Terry for good. She was tired of the toxic relationship.
She was embarrassed in front of her neighbors and was ashamed of herself and her partner. She was tired of the relationship pattern. The good that was always followed by the bad.
And the bad kept on getting worse while the good remained the same. At first Terry was in denial. She really wanted to breakup. He felt like he had no hope.My Ex Said That I Have No Chance To Get Them Back
Everyone blamed him for all the negativity in the relationship.