8 Creative Ways to Stay Connected in a Long Distance Relationship
Here's what to do to add a little creativity to your LDR. In fact, now, it seems crazy that we decided we wanted to get married after If you're going to be going long lengths of time without seeing each other, Open When. Tips For Dealing With Pursuit-Retreat In Distant Relationships . drive your long distance partner crazy with frustration, second-guessing, and self-doubt. partner has to spend a lot more money than the other to keep the relationship going. People in long-distance relationships share tips for how to feel Before his first visit, we started to go on “dates” in Google Docs, him helping When something was too personal, too raw, too scary, we'd protect it inside parentheses. And crazy as it was, given we'd known each other all of a month by.
Also check out 13 Tips For Dealing With Different Time Zones In A Long Distance Relationship Prioritize talking with each other It can take real effort to rearrange schedules and make time to talk, especially when things get busy or there is a time difference involved.
Make Your Long Distance Relationship Easy & Fun | Modern Love Long Distance
Do not overdose on talk-time. Unless you both value transparency and honesty more than making a good impression, you will have a much more difficult time figuring out whether you and your partner are a good fit for each other.
Learn to listen carefully to your partner and ask good questions — questions that make them think and help you understand them better. Find new things to talk about Most couples in a long distance relationship will go through periods where they struggle to find things to talk about apart from how their day was.
When these seasons hit, put a bit more effort into finding new and fresh things to discuss or make it easy on yourself and check out the book below. Practice asking questions that make you feel vulnerable. Be willing to be transparent. Also check out I cheated on my long distance boyfriend, should I tell him? So recommend books, articles, podcasts, music, movies, news items, etc to each other.
8 Creative Ways to Stay Connected in a Long Distance Relationship
If you can read or listen to some of the same things, that will help you share experiences and give you new things to talk about. Read up on some of those stories and learn from those who have gone before. Talking to each other is great, but make that extra effort sometimes to try something new or go on a long distance date. Writing gives you more time and space to reflect on tricky issues, and letters and emails can become treasured keepsakes or maybe even a book in the future.
Tell your partner how they can best help you during those times. Ask your partner to share these things with you, too. If you want to know how to make a long distance relationship work, learn some basic conflict-management strategies and discuss them with your partner before you find yourself mid-fight.
Also check out Love Is A Battlefield: If possible, save your serious disagreements for when you can talk them out in person or at least on the phone. Learn to recognize and control your own emotions Long distance relationships often involve intense emotions and extreme ups and downs. There are times of intense loneliness, uncertainty, doubts, and fear. There are also times of extreme excitement, joy, and incandescent happiness. Learning to recognize, own, and manage your own emotions will pay off big time—now and in the future.
Learn to control any jealousy in your long distance relationship Feeling a little jealous now and again is not unusual in a long distance relationship. However, uncontrolled jealousy can lead to a destructive combination of suspicion, possessiveness, insecurity, anger, and shame.
It is controlling the situation by simply refusing to engage. Distance makes this particularly easy to do hanging up or not answering or returning callsand it can drive your long distance partner crazy with frustration, second-guessing, and self-doubt. Tackling this hot topic directly can help avoid assumptions and conflict. Do you know what your primary love language is? Do you know how to speak your partners?
Also check out The Five Love Languages: What Do You Speak? Build your love maps Your love map is your mental network of information about your partner—their interests, stories, what makes them tick, and things you love and admire about them. The more positive memories and associations you build into this love map, the stronger your relationship will be over time.
Also check out The Sound Relationship House: Talking about these things and any growing feelings of jealousy or unease can save you a lot of heartache and conflict in the long run. Share things with each other that have made you laugh.
Surprise your partner every so often with something thoughtful Everyone loves getting a present, a bunch of flowers, or a handwritten letter in the mail. Every so often, go the extra mile and do something extra and special to help your partner feel loved and valued. Bonus points if the gesture is uber-thoughtful. Make sure you have some reminders of your partner around—perhaps put their photo on your desktop or tape it to your mirror, drink out a coffee mug they gave you… the possibilities are endless.
Find a way to involve and connect your partner with some of the other important relationships in your life. Then, when you do talk, focus. Jealousy Feeling a little jealous now and again is not unusual in a relationship, particularly when you are separated from your loved one. A little jealousy can even spark fresh attraction and a new appreciation for your partner.
However, while a single candle can illuminate a room, a blaze can burn it to the ground. Uncontrolled jealousy can lead to a destructive combination of suspicion, possessiveness, insecurity, anger, and shame. Controlling jealousy is not easy, but it can be done. Take a look at this article for more on the nuts and bolts of how to get a handle on overcoming jealousy: Jumping in the deep end Growing apart is a particular pitfall for couples that were established before they started doing long distance.
Couples who like I did start their relationship across distance face almost the opposite problem—the temptation to become too emotionally intimate, too quickly.
In some ways, getting to know someone via email and phone calls can help your relationship. The distance can force you to talk about all sorts of things you might not have discussed if doing other things or, um, each other was a realistic option. On the other hand, falling in love long distance is a risky business. Remember that the rules of long distance relationships should be the same as those posted at public pools: Walk, do not run.
And no diving in headfirst. Take your time getting to know each other. Approaching your new relationship in a measured manner may yield benefits for years to come.
Miscommunications Miscommunications and misunderstandings happen frequently in relationships. They happen when you share the same house with someone. Luckily for me, Mike is not easily offended or hurt or, for that matter, deterred. Another time, Mike and I were discussing something that I was very worried about. This makes effective communication harder. When you feel confused or hurt, remember that you may have misunderstood what your partner said or meant! Ask questions to clarify, and really try to respond thoughtfully rather than just react.
Beyond any specific incident, learn the natural similarities and differences in your communication styles, and how each of you tends to react to frustration, disappointment, or conflict. Check out this article series on managing conflict in long distance relationships. Stonewalling People sometimes email me about their long distance relationship and say something like this: What should I do? It is using silence as a weapon or an escape. It is controlling the situation by simply refusing to engage.
Distance makes this particularly easy to do, and it can drive your long distance partner crazy with frustration, second-guessing, and self-doubt. If you catch yourself stonewalling, ask yourself why. Are you trying to punish or hurt the other person? Or are you mostly taking what looks like the easy way out by avoiding complicated emotions or discussions? Whatever the answer is, stop it. When your partner does get back in touch, tell them how hurt and frustrated it made you feel to get the silent treatment.
Tell them how you wish they had dealt with the situation instead of disengaging.
How To Make A Long Distance Relationship Work: 50 Best Tips
Becoming possessive Another issue that often pops up in my inbox goes something like this: Distance can make it harder to trust and easier for jealousy and insecurity to run rampant. This combination often fuels possessive and controlling behavior.
If you are feeling and acting possessive, try to figure out why. This is a complicated issue, and that might not be easy to do. You can, however, act less controlling even before you sort out all your feelings.
Take a hard look at what you are asking for from your partner in terms of contact, accessibility, and updates. Are your expectations reasonable?
If not, decide what is reasonable preferably together and then stick to that. If your partner is smothering you, tell them. That will only make them more anxious and demanding.THE HARDEST PART OF A LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP (emotional...)
Cheating Do you want the good news? Several research studies have concluded that cheating does not occur more often in long distance relationships.
Cheating is not uncommon in relationships whether same-city or long distance. Lying and cheating happen in relationships, and distance makes deceit easier to hide, for longer.