Ask yourself these 7 relationship questions and see if it's time to fix it or call you in a way that's not totally unforgivable but still pretty troubling. There are no right or wrong answers to these relationship questions, just some personal reflections for you to find new insights about your love. 10 Questions to Ask Yourself When Your Marriage or Relationship is in Not everyone in a struggling relationship will be able to ask these questions, because . Although my relationship isn't in trouble, there are some rough.
This goes along with the last question, but it's perhaps something you should consider separately. If you have children, that helps to establish a high level of commitment and, if there is anyway way possible, it would be advisable to try to rekindle the love. If you're in a relationship and have mutual friends who might be affected by your relationship, take that into consideration, but by no means should mutual friends be the sole cause of you staying in an unhappy or abusive relationship.
What do you think love is?
20 Helpful Marriage Counseling Questions to Ask Your Spouse
Is it a choice, or is it a feeling? Is it sexual and physical, or is it a commitment?
If you take some time to meditate and think about what love is, you may be able to think about how this affects your perception of the relationship. If you think love is merely physical and a feeling, and you don't feel in love with your partner and are not having as much sex, then perhaps this is your problem.
Trying to begin to see love as a choice and commitment will start the shift towards a more accepting and lasting form of love above that which is based on shifting feelings. Often times thinking about why you originally entered into a relationship with this person will help rekindle some of those feelings, if not, at the very least, help you realize what you want to see in the relationship again.
It can also help make question 3 clearer--did you fall in love with this person because they were attractive and great at physical intimacy, or did you fall in love with them because they would make a great mother and make you laugh? Do they still do these things for you? Is there a way you can help your partner be that person again?
Continuing Q 4, what is your relationship with this person based on--is it a sexual relationship? Is this foundation healthy to establish a relationship on is it co-dependent? Can we change it?
If we do, could it save the relationship? Perhaps your relationship problem is a spiritual one. Let me be blunt, now that you've made it to question Any healthy relationship must have an element of spirituality. If you're a Christian, is Christ central to your marriage are you more dependent on Him than on each other? If you're of a different religion or spirituality, do you share and consistently practice these beliefs together?
If you're atheist which I truly believe makes for the hardest marriagesdo you at the very least participate in some philosophical or meditative exercises together? This is the most important aspect of a relationship, so I encourage you to figure out if the problem lies here, and if so, how to fix it. Buy Now 7 What do I need out of this relationship, and how much should I expect? You next need to ask yourself what the purpose of this relationship is, and what its reasonable to expect.
If you're in a relationship, do you need to consider marriage, and is it appropriate to expect your partner to consider this? If you're married, what do you need to your spouse to do to support the relationship?
Is it realistic for you to expect marriage to be permanent? What is your love language, how do you receive love? Do you need more spirituality, more sex, or more intimacy from the relationship, and is it realistic for you to expect that from your spouse? If, for some reason, these needs present unreasonable expectations, what does that mean?
Which of these previous things do you need to ask your spouse to give you, or help you with? Do you need to ask for more consistent physical intimacy? Do you need to ask for your spouse to do more household chores? Do you need to talk more on the phone or go out on more dates?
Which of these are most important to get? How do you ask your partner to give these to you? What can I do in return?
Which of these needs can I reasonably forgo, for a period of time, to help the relationship? In order to be effective in fixing your relationship, you need to take ownership for your own mistakes, faults, and failings. What have you failed you give your partner that they need? The things that matter the most to one spouse often seem insignificant to the other.
Ask your spouse what he or she thinks are the main issues between the two of you and what can be done to remedy the situation. For example, your spouse may think you do not spend enough time together, and you could remedy this by discovering ways you can enjoy time with one another more often. In order to find solutions, you must first know what the problems are.
What Issues Are Most Important? Find out what your spouse considers are the most important issues and work on those first. You should also air your views on what you think the most important issues are so that the two of you can work on them together.
Do You Want a Divorce? If you are worried that your relationship has reached the point of no return, one of the most obvious marriage counseling questions is whether you should stay together. All relationships go through phases.
- 10 Questions to Ask Yourself When Your Marriage or Relationship is in Trouble
You will fall in and out of romantic love with one another depending on what your relationship is going through at the time. When asking marriage counseling questions, examine your issues and decide if the marriage has really gone bad or if you are just going through a bad phase.
You may feel like the relationship is salvageable, but your spouse may feel it is too late to save it. In a marriage, some things about your partner will always get on your nerves.
These things usually not cause for divorce, but big things like a lack of trust and honor can destroy intimacy. By asking marriage counseling questions you can find out what things your spouse would like to change about you and you can work on those issues.
Asking your spouse if you are loved is one of the most basic marriage counseling questions. Trouble begins when you stop caring at all. Do You Trust Me?
20 Helpful Marriage Counseling Questions to Ask Your Spouse
Trust is one of the most important factors in any relationship. If your significant other has a hard time trusting you, you will find it difficult to connect on any level.
One of the key elements in gaining trust is forgiveness. Recognize if your partner has learned to think negatively about you because of things you have done. Learn to talk about needs and feelings and share your reasons for what you did.
Ask for forgiveness and explain why you will never repeat your mistake. Give your spouse a chance to tell you what you need to do to regain trust. Nearly all couples experience a change in chemistry, but the most important question is how you feel about it.
If the chemistry is dead, your partner may be prone to looking elsewhere. Try to find ways to rekindle the spark such as sharing fantasies or going on a marriage counseling retreat. Are You Seeing Someone New? If your spouse has started considering divorce, find out if there is someone else in the picture. If there is infidelity, find out from your spouse what is lacking in your relationship that led to feelings of someone else developing.
Psychology Today notes that six in ten cheaters never get caught, so if your spouse is cheating, you may well not know.