What's the secret to having a successful relationship? A study conducted by Robert Epstein of the University of the South Pacific Fiji found. From the moment we are born, we start to participate in personal relationships: with parents, with siblings, and with wider family and friends. As we grow, those. Looking back over twenty years of working as a couples therapist, the happiest and most satisfied couples I know exhibited three specific relationship skills.
Keeping a positive outlook leads to much better outcomes. Calmness — Being able to calm yourself down is another great relationship skill to have. Couples often tumble into trouble when they allow themselves to be dramatic and reactive in the moment based on intense emotions.
When you develop your ability to take time to slow down your thoughts and reflect on the situation, you can gain perspective. This will allow you to have fewer of those heated moments that escalate into hurtful behavior.
You can always develop yourself and your capacity to be a loving person. Challenging and changing your contribution to relationship difficulties should feel empowering, since you are the only person you completely control.
You can make yourself a better relationship partner by being more expressive and taking chances with your partner. You can learn how to calm yourself down before reacting using mindfulness techniques in moments of stress.
You can take a serious interest in getting to know yourself, your wants and motivations and learn more about yourself. One avenue to achieve this self-knowledge is to solicit input from trusted friends.
This can be a first step, allowing you to be more honest with yourself and your partner and more authentic in your relationship.
Like most skills, we learn through experience, through our relationships. Growing up, we may never have learned healthy ways to cope, handle conflict or express ourselves. In fact, we may have learned just the opposite. The worst enemy of our relationship is our past.
The top 5 skills for a happy relationship
Poor role models and hurtful early relationship experiences leave a lasting impression. We can change this by looking for new role models in couples or individuals who we admire. We can adopt as our own the styles of relating we observe that resonate with how we want to be in our relationships. We can set personal goals for ourselves and try to challenge and change behavior that is self-limiting or that actually sabotages our relationships.
The only person you can change is you. Ask yourself, what do I do the moment before my partner does the things that frustrate me most? If you are open to changing yourself — if you show up for your partner and show love to your partner — you are much more likely to draw an open and loving response from your partner.
Unilateral disarmament is an exercise I often advise couples to engage in; when you feel hurt by your partner and feel like lashing back, reach out instead and express your desire to be close to them. Just drop your engagement in the fight, calm yourself down and try to approach the situation with love, compassion and respect for both yourself and your partner.
Use the moment to show that you value the relationship more than being right or protecting yourself. This vulnerable stance also often evokes a loving response from your partner. Therefore, relationship skills are an important part of developing or teaching life skills. Relationships skills, in general, are built on solid personal strengths, especially good character, which includes honesty, trustworthiness, self-discipline and self-control A-R-E-A of Control.
Kindness and patience also go a long way in building strong relationships. Without a doubt, mutual trust and respect is the cornerstone of any successful interaction. This is true during limited encounters sales clerks, contractors, doctorsbut especially true in longer-term relationships friends, family, co-workers, partners, spouses that involve continual interaction. Interaction implies action on both sides.
Therefore, every interaction should be a two-way street; a give-and-take that involves both participants.
The seven essential relationship skills | Psychologies
Again, this is particularly true in relationships. To restate an often overlooked success secret, no one can sustain a positive relationship alone - even if he or she has exceptional relationship skills. Relationship Rights and Responsibilities In every interaction or relationship, each person has a number of rights and responsibilities. And the success of every one of these interactions and relationships is totally dependent on how well each person recognizes and implements their rights and responsibilities.
As stated, both commitment and individuality are important parts of every relationship. As individuals, we should never give up our personal dreams and goals to become part of a relationship.
We must be willing, however, to balance our needs and goals with the needs and goals of the relationship. Even in relationships that demand a great deal of commitment - spouses, partners, parents and children - each individual needs down-time, to enjoy interests and activities that are particularly nurturing to him or her.
To be strong for someone else, we must be strong ourselves. Therefore, boundaries are an important part of a healthy relationship. Some degree of self-reliance is also a good idea, because change is a part of life. Any relationship can change or end, for one reason or another. Children grow up and become involved in other relationships.
The seven essential relationship skills
Close friends may move out-of-state. And sad as it may be, one member of the relationship may die. If we do not have some degree of self-reliance, it may be impossible to envision a worthwhile and productive future. Relationship Facts Exploring the following statements, which are very important in basic communication skills, may also be helpful in developing strong relationship skills: As an individual we want to project a certain image.
Other people have that same desire. Unfortunately, image what is projected does not always match perception how the image is interpreted. Sometimes we project an image that is misinterpreted and sometimes we misinterpret the image someone else is projecting.
In either case, there is a breakdown in communication and the interaction or relationship can suffer.